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  • You may find this webpage offensive if you fall under any of the following categories:
    • You ARE currently an FWB (Friends With Benefits) of mine.
    • You WERE an FWB of mine.
    • You're THINKING of becoming an FWB.
    • You believe you love me.

If any of the above is true, I suggest you EXIT NOW!

So, you've decided to stay. :)

  • I bet you're one of these:
    • A man.
    • A taken woman.
    • A woman who thinks this page is ALL about you!

Aight then, now go get your box of kleenexs...

Before my first-love came around, I was a dude who'd look at his sisters cry for a man, and think, "what the hell is wrong with them??" It was only a matter of time before my heart regretted I ever asked...

And then what happened? I was minding my own biz in this soccer chatroom called "Copa Mondial". This girl enters the room. It was not the first time I had seen her around. I don't think I had ever talked to her, though. Out of nowhere, seeing her around, I said, "hey, I know an Enid..." Without ignoring this mofo who had a strange way of saying "hi", she responded, "hey, I know a Tomas..." Her response marked the beggining of a dream.

Some time passed and she became my girl. There we were... a 20 year old unemployed dude who was at the verge of dropping out from college... a 17 year old lady who held both a job and a high GPA at school. Our race, music, religion, social-class, and goals in life were some of the many ways we differed. That did not stop us. She gave me her heart, I gave her mine. She treated it well. She brought happy-times to my otherwise indifferent life. She brought out the lover-side in me. I had always known how to make a lady smile through my silliness, but now I was learning how to make her smile through the words that my heart spoke. And when it came to telling her how I felt for her, my heart had a lot to say.

I always felt I loved her. Furthermore, I always told her my love for her was something out of the ordinary. It was after I lost her that my heart proved my mouth right... I in fact loved her in the most profound way of loving. Proven with the way my heart lagged WAY behind hers in the race to forget-a-former-lover. After I lost her, for days, weeks, months, I'd cry... everywhere I went.... alone, or in public. I cried in bed, I cried at school, I cried at the park. I had always been indifferent toward life, but now I had to add to that a broken heart. What's a man without a sane heart? A potential coffin buyer.

Time passed. My sadness eased VERY slowly. I'm still healing. Many women have crossed my path... wonderful women. A couple of them have even phrofessed their love for me. Unfortunately, my heart fails to cooperate. It allows me to like them, care for them, and say sincere sweet stuff to them, but it has kept me from loving them. The best I can say to them is...

I do not think I'm in love with anybody right now... but I sure would love to love again...
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